I recently needed to get some supplies for the ole photography business (yay print orders!) and decided I would just pop into Target -- ya know, for one or two things. Just one or two things. I curled my hair, put on some orange lipstick, and made my way to Target after the boyfriend and I had lunch at The Workman's Friend. Target greeted me with open arms, as the automatic door ushered me in to a shimmering, colorful dream world full of stylish clothes, modern prints that spoke directly to my soul, unbelievably cute things for a dollar bin, etc. The blast of cool air from the AC that hit my face as I walked in felt refreshing after the blistering summer heat outside -- I was in my delightfully climate controlled element and began "wandering" towards the the things I needed. Ultimately, this proved to be a rather enlightening trip, as afterwards I became aware of a long list of lies we tell ourselves about Target. I saw "we' because I know it's not just me. Because it ISN'T, and also I heard someone say one of them while I was in the store. Don't even pretend that you don't know exactly what I'm talking about.
LIES WE TELL OURSELVES ABOUT TARGET:
"I'll only be in there for a couple minutes."
"I just need one thing."
"If I can't find the clearance rack around they next corner I'll assume they don't have one and stop looking."
"I'll take it back if it doesn't fit."
"This is the last isle I'm going down."
"I'm stopping myself from coming back for a while."
"I'm getting a cart just in case I don't want to hold the one item I'm picking up, but I won't actually need it."
"I won't use my debit card there after the Christmas security breach, and since I don't carry cash I won't be able to shop there."
"Target is too far away to justify the trip."
"I'll put this in my cart to think about it, I might put it back."
"My boyfriend won't mind if I spend a few more minutes (an hour or two) in here, he'll understand."
"There probably won't be anything I want in this pile of cute clearance undies."
"I won't buy all this because I'll be too embarrassed to put all of it on the belt and they don't have self checkout."
......And then the next thing you know, the cashier is ringing up your stuff and telling you about how she and her fiancé from Cincinnati went to see Cars once because it was too hot to go to a park (which she usually preferred) and you can feel the judgement of the person behind you who only has three things as your cartload of clearance panties and dollar bin goods is being slowly dragged across the scanner by previously mentioned cashier who is pretty much a 70 year old grandma. With a fiance (you go, girl!). You feel the shame mingled with hot waves of exhilaration, and a hint of "yeah bee-ah, I AM dropping all this cash on awesome Target stuff -- which you obviously aren't brave enough to do and are totes jealous of my spunk" aimed at the impatient woman behind you.
I don't know how they do it, but it's what Target does best. I'm beginning to feel like I might need to start a Target Shoppers Anonymous sometime in the near future. Raise your hand if you need to join! But of course, that would probably just end up being another lie we tell ourselves: "I'll join Target Shoppers Anonymous soon/after this one last trip and get myself under control."