STEPHANIE :: MOTHERHOOD
Brett was a bit of a surprise. I was in total shock and disbelief and immediately started making plans for the future, before I ever had my first doctor's visit. Fast forward a few months to the first time I held him in my arms. It was very strange and so surreal. You're looking at this tiny baby and wondering if it's even real while simultaneously bursting at the seems with pride and love. He's a great kid, and I'm proud to be his mom.
You're a better person when you're a mother. You know that someone is always watching your every move and it forces you to be a kinder person. Every decision I make now affects two people. I always have to ask myself if my decisions benefit the both of us. Patience is a virtue. Children are so fragile. I must sometimes remind myself not to lose my cool because the things I say and do have long term effects on him. Don't ever say, "because I said so!" I swore to myself that I wouldn't and I haven't. He never stops asking "why," and I love his curious nature. I encourage the questioning. It's important.
I'm also so incredibly aware of how precious time is. There's never enough time. There's no way to really make someone understand how precious each and every moment is. I just can't get enough of him. I love the way his hair smells when he gets out of the bath. I love to watch him lay on the ground and play with his cars. I love his songs. I just can't get enough. I wish I could hold onto his innocence. I can only control what goes on in my house and I wish I could keep him innocent and oblivious forever.
Brett is a huge fan of anything with wheels. When he was a toddler we were in the grocery store and it must've been the first time he had ever saw a wheelchair. In total awe and excitement he exclaims, "Mommy! Check out those wheels" I was mortified. The gentlemen was very kind, but I wanted to grab Brett and disappear. When Brett was younger he was on an ATV with his grandpa. When he got off, we saw that his eye was red and he wouldn't stop rubbing it. He had somehow got the wing of a lady bug stuck (suctioned like a popcorn kernel to the back of your throat) to his eyeball. It took four ER nurses, myself, my husband, and several hundred dollars to get that thing out of his eye. You would've thought we were trying to skin him with the scene he was making.
Ultimately, I want my son to be happy. I want him to know what makes him happy. I want him to know how to obtain those things that make him happy, and how to change the things that dont. I want him to know that the sky really is the limit. I wish for my son to be a contributing member to society. Whatever he does, I want him to do it well and with pride and dignity.
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ASHLEE LAUREN PHOTOGRAPHY provides both studio and outdoor, natural light photography in Indianapolis, Indiana. The studio in located in downtown Indy near the canal and IUPUI. Family photography, as well as newborn sessions, maternity pictures are provided.