I remember not feeling well for a couple weeks and thinking something strange was going on. I also remember eating a LOT of bleu cheese! Which anyone who knows me knows that I HATE bleu cheese! A friend jokingly said, “maybe you are pregnant.” This got me thinking and made me very anxious! I bought a pregnancy test and took it on my lunch break! When it showed up with the PLUS sign I was so SHOCKED. I called my very best friend and told her. She made me feel very calm about the situation! She said – You are going to be great! Deep breaths, you are going to be an awesome mommy!
The whole time I was pregnant I was so sure that Luna was a boy. I’m not sure where I got that idea, I was just set in my ways I suppose! I remember when the ultra sound tech told me it was a girl I burst into tears. I wasn’t upset about her being a girl, I had just built it up the first couple months thinking it was going to be a boy!
My pregnancy was not exactly sunshine and roses! I was very sick and tired pretty much the whole time. I was also trying to keep the pace with my pre-pregnancy self. I was working two jobs and trying to keep up with my social calendar. I was tired and anxious about being a mom! To be totally honest my pregnancy experience was not exactly what I had hoped it would be. I hope to be able to have another shot at it in the future!
Labor and delivery, oh man! We scheduled our date to check into the hospital and get induced. We checked in at 4pm on Sunday the 2nd of March. I had several doses of Cervidil throughout the night. At 5:40 the next morning my amazing nurse checked me and said we would wait for the doctor to come in and talk about what our next action would be. 15 minutes after she left I sat up to get up and just stretch and I thought that I had peed everywhere! I was so embarrassed! I hit the nurse button and said I think I peed everywhere! They came in and confirmed that I had in fact not peed -- that my water had broken! After that it all seemed to rush by! We got to the pushing part and I was determined to not be pushing for a long period of time! I pushed for 40 minutes and Luna was here! All of the pictures I look CRAZY in. I actually pushed so hard I busted some blood vessels in my face! The first time they put her in my arms I just burst into tears! I have never felt such a wave of EMOTION. She was perfect from the start! I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter!<
Coming home with a baby is terrifying! The nurses spoil you so much at the hospital! I remember arriving home and just being terrified that I wouldn’t know what to do! I was worried that she would cry and I wouldn’t know what to do! I got very lucky Luna started sleeping through the night at 3 months! I was so excited to spend my days with her while I was off work! I seriously stared at her while she slept the first week we were home.
Being a mom has made me more patient! Being a mom has made me more definitive in what I want in life! Being a mom has made me so happy!
The best part about being a mom is seeing how much Luna changes from day to day! How much she just looks up to me! My favorite thing is seeing her recreating things that I do! Copying my facial expressions making the same noises I do! Its AMAZING! One of the funny things about Luna is when she gets really excited she starts squeaking. It is really loud and sometimes happens are inopportune times. One time we were at a target and she was squeaking and being silly and was so happy all over a plastic cup.
The most challenging thing that I have found is not getting to spend enough time with Luna! I am still working a lot trying to get to a place where I can stay at home more often!
I am so grateful for my friends and family during this transition!!! Everyone has been so willing to help with even the smallest things!
I wish someone had taught me a way to take everyone’s advice and just smile. Everyone is offering you so much advice the first couple months, I wish I would have prepared for that and had a plan of attack.
I wish I could hold onto the stage Luna in right now where everything is so amazing! I want to make sure to not let her loose that wonder in the world!
Luna’s dad and I are not together. I am fearful that in the future she will have some resentment about that. I just want her to know that she was not the cause of that. I want her to know that both of us love her so much we just weren’t in a healthy relationship!
I want nothing more than for Luna to grow up to be a kind, caring individual. I want her to have a positive look at the world. I want her to be successful and choose a career that she loves. I want her to make decisions of her own and know that I will love her unconditionally! I just want to create an atmosphere of positivity and encouragement.
My advice to my fellow moms is: One day at a time.
Moms do have the power to change the world! You help develop a child and help old them into the person they become.
Ashlee also provides magical and delightful services for: newborn photography, cake smash photography, baby's first year plans, maternity photography, family photography, and Newborn mentoring for photographers.
If you have a milestone or special moment you want to remember forever, let's chat! Ashlee loves to photograph in the woodlands and around downtown Indianapolis, Fishers, Carmel, Zionsville, and Greenwood. She also has a professional studio space available for sessions.